I am the first to admit it. It is true: I appear outwardly to be a responsible member of society, properly socialized and with a suitably cheery disposition. I know which fork to use, dress appropriately for the weather, can go out socially without fear of embarrassing myself or others, and it has been years since my foot has been in my mouth. But I am harboring a disquieting secret which lately will not be contained. While still undiagnosed, I believe I suffer from some form of Adult Onset Infantile Behavior. I don't know its common name, but am hoping to reach out to other sufferers.
The symptoms include a general apathy to the unamused glances of others, new immunity to public humiliation, and resistance to most societal deterrents. As the disease progresses, it is common to find oneself giggling like an idiot for no apparent reason, becoming increasingly unintelligible, and ultimately incapacitated.
In retrospect I believe I've had an underlying case all of my adult life, with episodic flare ups now and then.
I have raised three children who will now, after years of eye-rolling and not-so-silent suffering, patiently indulge my random and often insensible humor. And I have been fortunate enough to find one fellow sufferer to share my plight. But in the larger circles of refined society, I have found that the strong disapproval of such unchecked silliness has been daunting enough to effectively damper these tendencies, at least whilst in public. Paradoxically, while some may find such behavior entertaining, maybe even endearing (in the way people find fat drooling babies endearing), they will draw a line at participating in such inanities.
Also, they will find you incomprehensible, and rather an embarrassment. Like a fat drooling baby.
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